i live every second like it was my last one.

Monday, March 1, 2010

>>> Oh noooo, sounds like me....

I didn't know procrastination is so BAD....

Procrastination and mental health
Procrastination can be a persistent and debilitating disorder in some people, causing significant psychological disability and dysfunction. These individuals may actually be suffering from an underlying mental health problem such as depression or ADHD.

People who exhibit procrastination and decreased implulse control appear to be prone to internet addiction.

Psychological
The psychological causes of procrastination vary greatly, but generally surround issues of anxiety, low sense of self-worth, and a self-defeating mentality. Procrastinators are also thought to have a lower-than-normal level of conscientiousness, more based on the "dreams and wishes"of perfection or acheivement in contrast to a realistic appreciation of their obligations and potential.

The tense-afraid type
The tense-afraid type of procrastinators usually feel overwhelmed with pressure. unrealistic about time (so true, haha), uncertain about goals (yup), and many other negative feelings(yup yup)....Since they are uncertain about their goals, they often feel awkward with people who appear confident and goal-oriented, which can lead to depression (huh!) ...often withdraw from social life, avoiding contact even with close friends (opps).

WOW...i think i kena 80%. . .

10:24 PM

Monday, February 22, 2010

>>> SHOW!

Recently i fell in love with SHOW!!!! Simply love him to death. How can a person be so so handsome, and FUNNY?!

I so so wish that i can be his GF! haha. I know its impossible la.

Today, well well. Not so good for me. Woke up 7.15 am for work. Already woken up, but can't wake baby up to drive me to work, and absolutely does not wanna spend cab fare to work. Hence, took leave again. Its already the 3rd monday of the month i'm absent from work. Heh. Feel damn guilty.

But this time, i dun feel shiok staying at home. The pressure starts to accumulate in me. I start to realise that i cannot live without a job. I need MONEY. I have committments already.

I need the money for our newly bought house, i need a job to apply for s'pore citizenship. I cannot be so irresponsible for my attendance.

BUT I AM REALLY SICK OF OFFICE WORK.

I have said a thousand times to all my friends that i want to change my job. Seriously i have been on a job hunt. But i seem to be lost. What kind of job am i capable of? Except for office based job.

I really don't know. I feel useless all of a sudden...

I keep skipping work because i am really not interested in my current job scope. No interest at all. To the extend that i hate it.

I'm still staying because i know there will be bonus and increment soon. That's why i feel helpless. I can't leave, i have to stay. I have no choice. And i hate it.

God, can i restart my life? I promise to study hard and plan about my life. I feel all messed up right now. Aimless in life.

Worse, I'm a mum. And i feel like i'm still growing up. Quite a shitty feeling.

Tomorrow, i have to put on a fake front to work again.

But he can make me scream....!!! Wahahaha, WOOOOTs! Shuai shuai shuai!!!!!

Work tmr. Sian to the MAX.

9:47 PM

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

>>>

I'm gonna be on a crazy crazy diet and exercise regime! i can't stand myself in the mirror anymore man.

Everyone says i'm fat. Enough! I know!

I'm depressed already so stop saying that already. =(

I'm gonna run and climb stairs and kick-box until i shit my guts out. Everyday.

YES.

No fried food, no fast food. 2 fruits and 2 vegs. 8 glasses of H2O daily.

Can I? wahaha.

Anyways, i feel depressed recently. Again, reminiscing. And sudden out-rage, arguing like mad bitch for the slightest annoyance. Like PMS. But my menses have cleared and i'm sure its not PMS.

Quater-life crisis?

anyhow, I'm feeling a bit better this week. =) Don't worry i wont bite.

All because i got a chance for an internal transfer! Yays! Everything is still not yet confirmed, so, cross your fingers for me la!

I got pictures to upload leh. but next week ba. i lurve procrastinating. =p

Now back to filling up the damn application for SC~ and then FarmVille! heh heh.

10:14 PM

Sunday, August 16, 2009

>>>

A Roller Coaster Ride...

This week was quite an emotional roller coaster ride for me.

I mentioned that i will be having a short getaway right? I was anticipating so much and was very excited. I did not even have any mood for work. haha. took so many random pictures at work. Not that i have nothing better to do, i have piles of work to clear before i go on leave, i was just ....too happy. =p

My DID with way too many lines too use.

Suppose you know the date i laze at work, taking random pics.

my cuddly cusion! can roll up and stick to a velcro to double up as a bolster! Comfy....

Given to me from LF lab, twinnie! she cut up leftover leathers from leather roadshow displays.

But my cow cannot stand properly de. haha.

Mouse pad also from leather!

Power mints! lurve.

My over-used calender which give wise advices.

.........

My roller coaster ride starts on saturday morning 6.28am.

My cousin passed away at 3.53am, 9th Aug.

I was damn shocked la. He's only 18 years old! Died from cardiac arrest. No illness, no asthma, no symptoms, no nothing. A post mortem had to be done, report out a mth later.

He just left us so suddenly!

Pure shock filled me. I didn't know what to do. Mum says he died in Changi hospital, and his body will be sent back to Ipoh.

Shall i carry on with my holidays? I waited for this getaway for so long...

So well ya...i decided to... SECRETLY. I felt guilty... but we will be rushing to attend his funeral on monday night.

Kuantan pizza hut. . . SUCKS big time. This is their bolognaise spaghetti. 2 pathetic meatballs with yucky sauce and overcooked spag.

Then proceed to Genting SECRETLY (those who read this pls keep to yourself!) to meet my supposedly holiday khakis, yennee and chua. we're taking a gambling dinner break. haha.

Their signature dry noodles. Sucks as well. way too salty.

Curry noodle was not bad.

The best is HAwaiian Pork Chop which i ordered!!! Yummys!!!

We had ice water we tot was free........instead cost 90cents each. and yah, hou mei is the restaurant.

This meal cost us RM80! Quite expensive, but considering its GEnting. A tourists attraction. so.. pay la.

First time I won $$ at the casino!! Quite happy, But the thought of my cousin makes me sad all over again.

We reach Ipoh a little past 12 midnight, and yah. Cried, grief, mourn, all that. Took a good look at him for the last time. He look peaceful.

My heartache each time i saw his siblings and parents crying their hearts out. Who have lost their youngest family member.

LIfe is so unpredictable.

God bless his family, his GF, my aunties and uncles who all doted on him, his friends.

RIP

Wong Mun Loong

1991-2009

You will always be remembered dearly.

5:45 PM

Sunday, August 2, 2009

>>>

My Weekend

Well well, i started off my weekend with OVERTIME on friday. *boo*
But i was not all reluctant la, considering i'm earning $$ and not spending $$! =)

And speaking of OT, i had my cup noodes for dinner rite. Usually cup noodles will include a small foldable fork inside, but not this cup.

So i have to turn to my back up utensils...plastic spoons, bamboo chopsticks that i took a few extras to keep when ta-baoing.

And guess what. I totally didn't expect it to ruin my dinner!

at a glance, it seems like abit charred. heaven knows why!

closer look, it seems like it had rotten or something! i have included a comparison.. look at the diff!

another closer look.... mould!!! *yikes* there goes my appetite.

But on a second thought, not a bad idea for losing weight! When you feel like eating, take a look at this hell of a chopstick. Wahahah. But quite sick though. *puke*

SO. The moral of my story. Be VERY careful of these re-cycled chopsticks! Don't just pluck of the plastic and dump it into your food.

Better still, stop using them! I got to buy my own set of utensils to my office already. *hee*

i want a korean style one!

p/s I rmb reading an email that shows how factories in china process them. Fucking bleaching, stepping by foot, blabla w/o sterilizing at ALL.

And.. we end up putting them into our mouth! =X

Came Saturday, I was spending spending spending!!

Went to JP late afternoon for a little shopping therapy. =)

Bought myself a NIKE exercise 3/4 pants!

I need it for my cardio-mix class with the JWSRC, and my company's cholesterol mgnmt class is starting a kick-boxing class every week too! Zap my fats away!!

not forgetting a little board shorts for my son from FOX KIDS. 50% sale!!

Later that nite went to meet jiali and liting for korean food! cheap and damn nice!

I felt so regretful cos i didn't took ANY photos with the food nor them! =(

The Kimchi soup is super damn nice la. lurrrrrrve it!!

Only $8 NETT with rice and drink!

The soup is not in small bowl mind you, with BEEF and veg and TOFU, and the drink is not in a small pathetic paper cup from a soft drink dispenser but a whole can!

I think i'm gonna go down today again with baby cos ytd i was already half full when eating the korean food. yuppies!

Then we headed to Mr. Bean for some coffee and talks. reminiscing the old days is fun! laughing at each other. and liting wld say thinking of Ex BFs too. haha.

Come to think of it, i think we shd really buy a nice board/card/watever game and meet up like once a mth at one of our place and play!! as liting suggested, instead of going to places like settlers and mind cafe.

Also! we were discussing about the preparation for litings wedding..Can't wait for NOV to come!

NExt week i'll be on a short holiday!! weeeeee!!!!!!

Planned a trip to Genting with Yennee and Chua! Will be meeting them there. Actually the plan was a holiday to east msia (ard 4 days) with them, but our timing doesn't fit.

So.. end up can only compromise 1 day with them.

I was quite caught up about the planning until Baby said

"no need to plan la! very easy wat.Monday we go Genting, play abit and gamble.
IF we win, den we continue our holidays somewhere near Genting/KL.
IF we lose, den we head back to sgt to spend our holidays with our son."

wahahha. Suddenly my head feels all lightened! i like tt idea!

3:07 PM

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

>>>

I am really FICKLE.

I realise i keep changing my favourites, wanteds every time i log-in. wahahaha.

Been kick-boxing ytd, with all my might! It feels so good after a good work-out! Sweated all the stress away. =) And today as expected, my muscles are screaming. But no pain no gain right.. =) Hope my fats will stay far far away.

I won MJ last weekend! woohoo!! But spent all winnings last weekend too. haha. Went BOwling and POol!! Fun. It has been extremely long since the last time i played pool. 2 years? i think so. Playing pool makes me feels young. wahhaah.

Next outing i wanna be playing PAINT BALL! I missed out all the fun when my collaegues went last weekend!

omg. My hair isn't growwwwinnnnnggggg.....

i'm so dying to perm my hair...............!

Random photo.

Found this tube-top that i bought in TW, and i NEVER wore it since it left the shop. somehow it found its way out and alas!

liked this photo cos the flash incidentally covered my enormous face!

11:53 PM

Monday, June 29, 2009

>>>

wow. i never knew my life will be like this.

i never knew life can be so hard.
i never knew love can hurt that deep.
i never knew anger can be totally blinding.
i never knew laughter can be so contagious.
i never knew sadness can bring about such heartache.

then again, if we knew everything, there will be nothing.

hmmmmm......Whatever la. fuck it.

Pictures galore!